This is the literary weblog of Jeffrey W. Hull, M.D., a pediatrician. It is intended mainly as a place to maintain a collection of poetry created for the enjoyment of a few friends and as an archive for my family. All material is protected by US copyright.

Jeffrey Hull

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Communication

What are you saying?
   Now I must go.
Heartless betraying!
   What do I owe?

Why did you flirt so?
   Fire burns hot.
Why does it hurt so?
   How can it not?

How it will grieve me!
   What can I say?
How can you leave me?
   How can I stay?


© 2005 Jeffrey Hull


Rich Cohen overheard snatches of a conversation next door and surmised what was going on. It inspired this short piece, which was a little experiment in meter and spare expression.
One speaker uses one meter: DUH duh duh DUH duh
which ends on an unstressed syllable (a "feminine" ending)
And the other uses a shorter line: DUH duh duh DUH
which ends on a stress (a "masculine" ending, if you will)
So the meter tells us that very clearly that the conversation is between two persons, one of whom is leaving the other. The "swing" to the words almost begs to be set to music as a song lyric, obviously to be sung by a male-female duet.

1 Comments:

The idea of a conversation between subjects on the basis of meter and line is very effective. For me, it afforded an opportunity to envision two separate moments in time whereby I could use my imagination on a very selective level. The imagery vacillated from the abstract to the figurative very nicely. Nice idea.

I agree that this could be set to music. Very bluesy lyrics with a swing meter! Interesting.

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